“Gather round ladies and gentlemen.
I will give you a short report on the patient you will be visiting this morning.”
“This should be good,”
one of the anxious rookies chattered.
“Yes she is
remarkable, and so is the case study.”
The cocky side-kick
lifted his hand to offer a gesture of support. The chief ignored him. The
student was way too arrogant for his taste.
Dr. Burk cleared his throat and
covered his mouth to hide his amusement, as his arrogant intern’s face burned
with embarrassment. “Ok… so, patient suffers from Valley fever. She does have a
feeding tube, she may be able to speak, however keep your questions to a
minimum as the tubs are irritating to the nose and throat just the same. She
suffers from severe nerve damage due to the disease, heart murmur as a result
to damage to the heart, lymph nodes have swollen and are very painful. She is
not yet able to walk alone, but she is able to use the restroom on her own with
the help of assistive devices.
The Valley Fever has spread rapidly
through her body, but it has disseminated. Slight evidence shows entry into the
brain, but nothing conclusive just yet. The fungal infection is not contagious.
I hope you all have taken some time to review her chart, recent surgery’s,
biopsy’s, lab work, list of medications, and results of her MRI. If she gets
any inclination that she knows more than you during your interview, you may be
asked to leave. That’s all you need to know for now.”
“Does she know we are coming?”
“She has not been informed formally,
but she knows you are coming. You are not the first bunch of white coats that
have done their report on this case. Good luck!” Dr. Burk nodded and smiled
uncomfortably, before he tucked his clipboard under his arm and briskly walked
away.
****
The group of residents gathered
around to assign their team captain. After a brief election process the team
headed down the hallway to conduct their interview. Gina took a deep breath and
held her clipboard close to her chest. She was nervous about leading the team.
“Relax! You will do fine.” a
colleague reassured her.
Gina nodded confidently and knocked
on Ms. Butler’s door. After a faint whisper of approval, Gina and her team
entered Ms. Butler’s room with caution. Ms. Butler was quiet as she stared at
the bright white lab coats.
“Can I help you? Have you come to
take me home?”
The group of concerned newbies
looked at one another, confused and discombobulated. Gina cleared her throat in
an attempt to calm her nerves, “Um…no Ms. Butler we were wondering if you would
mind answering a few questions? We are very intrigued by your case.”
Waving her clipboard and flipping
loudly to the next page, she and her lab partner requested to ask me a few
questions. I buried my chin to my chest and looked up. I was quite
dispassionate to their inquiries but I decided to oblige.
“You know I was joking about you
arriving to take me home, to the promise land. I haven’t completely lost my
mind. I just like to play around with my guests from time to time,” I smirked.
Quickly I scanned the room and noticed the residents hanging back. “Front and
center ladies…”
and gentlemen.
“If you must…,” I was totally ignoring
him. He rubbed me the wrong way instantly, standing against the wall as if he
were the flavor of the month on some calendar.
“I don’t suppose you are here to get the story
behind my miraculous survival are you? I am not completely out of the woods
yet; but I have to say I am winning. The medical staff had me tapped out about
a month ago, at least.” I smiled and it felt good. My sarcasm blew right over
their heads, which made the conversation amusing. “So…shall we begin?” I sat up
and adjusted my tubing and Gina was kind enough to come around my bed and fix
the pillow for my back.
“How is that?” Ms. Butler.
“Yes fine thanks, and
please…please, call me Aija.” I was weak with exhaustion. The heaviness on my
chest was a bit much to bear; but I continued on. I took pride in sharing my
story with others. I lived each sunrise and sunset, passionately. I was a
fragile and emotional sight, I admit, a mere 76 pounds, knobby knees, and what
appeared to be a broken soul. Although I winced with pain, I was victorious.
Pumping my fist to warm lights of my patient room I’d chant, “I am taking my
life back. Do you hear me out there? I am taking my life back.”
I
closed my eyes as if trying to find the missing pieces of my shattered memory.
My life seemed to skip back and forth years at a time.
****
“Last July, I was
traveling through San Joaquin
Valley. I had delivered Jazzy-baby aut 6 months prior. My
younger sister and I decided to go down to see my daughter’s father and family.
We took the train for about four hours. We then transferred to a bus in the
city of Bakersfield,
the scorching city of death. Oh, how I
loved LA, and its busy streets, loud obnoxious vendors, and smog filled
air. The bus took us straight into the
Los Angeles Union train station. A trip
I had taken a million times.”
“So…where
was the point of transfer? I mean, where did you board the bus and train?”
I
looked towards the sky and rolled my eyes with disgust. I hated when I was
misunderstood or when people just couldn’t comprehend English, “Please don’t
interrupt, it’s rude.” I said with my forehead creased. “You may not get the
chance to cover this story again… I may not be around to tell it.”
I
laughed out loud. It hurt like hell but, it was worth the look on their pale
baby faces. The fresh white lab coats suggested they were still wet behind the
ears, and earnestly wanted to make an impression on their superiors.
“For
your recording purposes, Antioch,
California is where we boarded. Bakersfield was our point
of transfer from train to bus. It wasn’t until October that I started showing
signs of illness, flu-like symptoms to be exact. Coughing, achy body, loss of
appetite, I was miserable. I also developed these soars on my face, right
between the eye and the nose, on both sides. Hideous they were, and very
painful. I couldn’t help but pick at them. One of the soars began to form a
hole in the core of it. You could see my skull!” I sat up abruptly with all the
strength I could muster, for effect. I enjoyed scaring them. I was entirely too,
easy. The students both male and female, shifted their feet as other students
poured into my room accompanied by a nurse.
“Ms.
Butler, are you feeling okay to continue? I’m here with your meds.” The nurse
stepped forward, shoe-flying some of the students out of her way so that she
could do her bid.
“I’m
okay, I am enjoying the company, but we better hurry along with my story.” I
directed my attention back to the students. “As soon as this medicine hits my
blood stream, I am going to be out like a light.”
“Ms.
Butler, what other symptoms do you remember having, that prompted you to see a
doctor?”
“Well
the damn soars, for one thing.” I laughed so hard my stomach heaved in and out
showcasing my boney ribs. “I had never had a problem with acne. The fact they
weren’t coming to a head and dissipating was the problem. They were growing and
clustering. The Flu symptoms also worsened. I developed a very high fever. I
was vomiting more frequently even if I hadn’t eaten and losing weight at an
abnormal rate.”
Halloween
night is when I finally decided that something was really wrong. I could barely
walk as we strolled through the neighborhood. It was my daughters first
Halloween. With the meds and everything going on, I am saddened that I can’t
even remember what she was that year.
I
was sweating and Fall was coming to a close. It was freezing out. My mom sat
with me on a bench in the park where we lived as my siblings rolled Jazz around.
The
next morning I went to see a doctor. I wasn’t there thirty minutes before the
EMT’s were called. The next thing I knew, three doctors came in with astronaut
looking suits on and a gurney. Scared to death, my first thought was to run. My
mother began to cry immediately. I suffered through isolation for three days. I
had very few visitors, and the first set of antibiotics had failed miserably.
Lupus and TB were ruled out. So I was released from isolation, glad to reunite
with the land of the living. However, I was getting worse.
After
a few weeks, which turned into roughly three months, I jumped ship and was
transferred here to San Francisco
State Medical
Center, live and in color
here for your listening and viewing pleasure.”
One
of the interns giggled, but quickly stifled herself when bumped by a fellow
student.
“It’s
ok,” I chimed in. “It was a joke. Your superior officers have been running
tests to see how to attack the disease. It has spread throughout my lungs and
filtered my body. My lymph nodes have swollen, and some of the nodules have burst
and crusted over.”
“Has
Lymphoma been ruled out?”
“Yes!
I have Coccidiomycosis, better known as San Joaquin Valley Fever.”
One
of the male interns whipped out his PDA, like a western gun slinger, and began
tapping on it swiftly. “Right…Got It! Valley Fever, also known as Cocci
correct?”
I
smiled at his desperate need for attention. He hadn’t paid much attention to
anything I said, “I believe Coccidiomycosis, is the correct term. Coccidiomycosis is an infection caused by
inhaling the microscopic spores of the fungus Coccidioides immitis.
Spores are… the tiny, thick-walled structures that fungi use to reproduce.” I
paused again to catch my breath as the students looked in amazement in regards
to my knowledge of the disease. After all, if I was going to die, I should at
least know how and by what cause. I sighed and began spewing scientific facts
once more as if reading from a medical book, “Coccidiomycosis exists in three
forms. The acute form produces flu-like symptoms. The chronic form can develop
as many as 20 years after initial infection, and the lungs, can become
inflamed. The injured areas fill with pus (abscesses). Unfortunately, my form
of fungus has disseminated. Disseminated
coccidiomycosis describes the type of coccidiomycosis
that spreads throughout the body affecting many organ systems and is often
fatal.”
Without
bothering to look up, I began to tell him about the disease and describe its
derivatives. I didn’t want to see the shock and sadness in their eyes.
“So
you inhaled toxic soil correct? I remember my mentor mentioning it when we were
briefed on your case.” The gentleman smiled gustily at his inquisitiveness, as
he put his pocket pc in his lab coat and began to write.
I
pinched my lips, a form of expression that seems to be universal for the
African American culture, when someone is doing entirely too much. He was
killing the mood. None of the students could get a word in edge wise between my
own barking and his interjections. “Yes, that is correct. I am plagued with
knowing every detail of the disease.”
“Hey…
Miss Thing!”
One
of my favorite nurse’s flip flopped into the room. I could tell it was her. She
had this laid back walk. Like she was the shit and in no hurry. Still I liked
her. She was kind to sit and listen to my gripes.
“Y’all
gotta get up outta here, you see she’s dosing off.”
I
was happy to see her. I had a surprise under my silk bandana I wanted and
entrusted only to show her.
“Scoot…
Scoot…she will be here tomorrow.” The nurse scolded waving her hands for the
interns to leave. Slowly but surely the students began to disappear into the
white light.
“So…,
hey girl, what did you want to show me?” The nurse tapped my leg to bring me
back to life.
“Oh…
yes, take a gander at this.” I slowly pulled my scarf back to reveal my short
soft curls.
“Awe
you cut your hair.”
“Might
as well, it was falling out anyhow. So why not?” I said laughing brilliantly.
“It
looks good girl.”
“Thanks,
this is my form of liberation.”
“Well
when you get out of here maybe you can add a hair club to your organization.”
I
looked up as the tears welled in my eyes, and snatched my scarf from the nurse.
“If…I walk out of here.” I mumbled through clenched teeth. I don’t know why I
was so angry; but my chest burned. My throat began to close. I wasn’t sure the
journals I spent countless hours writing would ever see light. It was simply my
form of counsel, for I was seconds away from going insane.
“What
kind of life? What kind of life will I have, life after all this...honestly?"
Perhaps a life of
reformation, growth, inspiration, or will I wither away in pain in depression
searching for air. Who knows? All I know is that the fight is on. I will fight
to the finish.
